Not too late at all! Have fixed up the references in the version in easychair, and will get onto tweaking the others :) For the figure, I could potentially split it into two figures, which are a bit bigger?<div><br></div><div>
Ta!</div><div>Mike<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Fri, Feb 1, 2013 at 4:27 PM, Luc Moreau <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:l.moreau@ecs.soton.ac.uk" target="_blank">l.moreau@ecs.soton.ac.uk</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
<div bgcolor="#FFFFFF" text="#000000">
Hi Mike<br>
Hoping it's not too late.<br>
<br>
Here is some feedback on intro/abstract.<br>
The intro looks much more compelling for a web science paper. I have
a few<br>
suggestions.<br>
<br>
1. Abstract seems to indicate that the paper is about PON rather
than its mulitidisciplinary design.<br>
I think the abstract needs to be repitched like the intro was.<br>
<br>
2. "We feel that this evolution is ..." I wasn't sure what evolution
you meant. Probably what<br>
is mentioned in previous sentence, but I thought the link could be
made better. Also "We feel" is<br>
not very strong. <br>
<br>
3. "BY making the changes that occur to the data apparent" ....
-> it's not so much about<br>
making them apparent, but "by tracking and recording the changes
that occur to the data ..."<br>
<br>
4. We hope ... again, be bolder, more convinced<br>
<br>
5. "USING the primer software methodology" --> "ACCORDING TO
..."?<br>
<br>
6 . In black and white, figure 5 is not very clear ...??? not sure
this is fixable.<br>
<br>
7. Check title of reference [12]: <a href="http://www.w3.org/TR/prov-dm/" target="_blank">http://www.w3.org/TR/prov-dm/</a><br>
<br>
8. [13] is duplicate of [12]<br>
<br>
Luc<div><div class="h5"><br>
<br>
<br>
<div>On 02/01/2013 12:48 PM, Michael Jewell
wrote:<br>
</div>
</div></div><blockquote type="cite"><div><div class="h5">
Now with a Related Work section, and some expansion on the
Conclusions.
<div><br>
</div>
<div>Cheers,</div>
<div>Mike<br clear="all">
<div><br>
</div>
-- <br>
Dr Michael O. Jewell<br>
ECS, University of Southampton
</div>
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Professor Luc Moreau
Electronics and Computer Science tel: <a href="tel:%2B44%2023%208059%204487" value="+442380594487" target="_blank">+44 23 8059 4487</a>
University of Southampton fax: <a href="tel:%2B44%2023%208059%202865" value="+442380592865" target="_blank">+44 23 8059 2865</a>
Southampton SO17 1BJ email: <a href="mailto:l.moreau@ecs.soton.ac.uk" target="_blank">l.moreau@ecs.soton.ac.uk</a>
United Kingdom <a href="http://www.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~lavm" target="_blank">http://www.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~lavm</a>
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<br></blockquote></div><br><br clear="all"><div><br></div>-- <br>Dr Michael O. Jewell<br>ECS, University of Southampton
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