[Patina] Re: Latest PDF

[Michael Jewell]

I've submitted a new version with those changes in (aside from the other
textual changes, the history view is now full-width, and have twisted the
abstract around a little). I can do a final submission tonight if needed,
so let me know (before 11pm :) if so!

Thanks for all the help!

Cheers,
Mike

On Fri, Feb 1, 2013 at 4:39 PM, Michael Jewell <mjewell at gmail.com> wrote:

> Not too late at all! Have fixed up the references in the version in
> easychair, and will get onto tweaking the others :) For the figure, I could
> potentially split it into two figures, which are a bit bigger?
>
> Ta!
> Mike
>
> On Fri, Feb 1, 2013 at 4:27 PM, Luc Moreau <l.moreau at ecs.soton.ac.uk>wrote:
>
>>  Hi Mike
>> Hoping it's not too late.
>>
>> Here is some feedback on intro/abstract.
>> The intro looks much more compelling for a web science paper. I have a few
>> suggestions.
>>
>> 1. Abstract seems to indicate that the paper is about PON rather than its
>> mulitidisciplinary design.
>> I think the abstract needs to be repitched like the intro was.
>>
>> 2. "We feel that this evolution is ..." I wasn't sure what evolution you
>> meant. Probably what
>> is mentioned in previous sentence, but I thought the link could be made
>> better. Also "We feel" is
>> not very strong.
>>
>> 3. "BY making the changes that occur to the data apparent" .... -> it's
>> not so much about
>> making them apparent, but "by tracking and recording the changes that
>> occur to the data ..."
>>
>> 4. We hope ... again, be bolder, more convinced
>>
>> 5. "USING the primer software methodology"  --> "ACCORDING TO ..."?
>>
>> 6 . In black and white, figure 5 is not very clear ...??? not sure this
>> is fixable.
>>
>> 7. Check title of reference [12]: http://www.w3.org/TR/prov-dm/
>>
>> 8. [13] is duplicate of  [12]
>>
>> Luc
>>
>>
>>
>> On 02/01/2013 12:48 PM, Michael Jewell wrote:
>>
>> Now with a Related Work section, and some expansion on the Conclusions.
>>
>>  Cheers,
>> Mike
>>
>>  --
>> Dr Michael O. Jewell
>> ECS, University of Southampton
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Patina mailing listPatina at ecs.soton.ac.ukhttp://mailman.ecs.soton.ac.uk/mailman/listinfo/patina
>>
>>
>> --
>> Professor Luc Moreau
>> Electronics and Computer Science   tel:   +44 23 8059 4487
>> University of Southampton          fax:   +44 23 8059 2865
>> Southampton SO17 1BJ               email: l.moreau at ecs.soton.ac.uk
>> United Kingdom                     http://www.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~lavm
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>> Patina at ecs.soton.ac.uk
>> http://mailman.ecs.soton.ac.uk/mailman/listinfo/patina
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> Dr Michael O. Jewell
> ECS, University of Southampton
>
> _______________________________________________
> Patina mailing list
> Patina at ecs.soton.ac.uk
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>
>


-- 
Dr Michael O. Jewell
ECS, University of Southampton
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